he is Carl

as I slowly walked down The Lanes (the most-visited narrow pathways you can find in Brighton) because of hungry and was in needing of feeding my tummy, 

a guy with this-kind-of-hello-did-we-ever-meet-before-why-is-it-your-face-is-so-familiar-to-me suddenly took my attention when he threw a glance to me and started to "Hello/Hi" at me. 

twice. 

at first, he started with "Hey, ya alright?"

and I was just staring at him, giving him a puzzled-look. oh no. why did he speak to me. did i ever know him personally? 

but I didn't say anything in return to him, but took my look away from his face instead and my eyes continued to focus on scanning the halal restaurant nearby, which was only 2 min-walk from where i stood. 

and again. 

i noticed the-very same guy tried to talk to me, and he also said the-very same thing to me which was "Hey, ya alright?" a littler louder, but of course with his polite tone of his British accent and controlled in a continuous echo. 

but this time around, he made his feet walked towards me and i was like oh great. oh. my. god, what did i ever do to him. did i really ever know him before? 

i remembered he wasn't alone, he was with his friend accompanied him.  

he came closer to my frozen body (because was dreading of recognising him) and i thought i had a severe problem with my brain that it wasn't functioning so well, when i was in need of reminiscing who was he. but by giving a very detailed-look to his face, i slowly started to remember him. heyyyyyyyyy isn't he's my English teacher? awhhh he used to be my tutor, he taught me English. he is one of a man with a good heart and he is so kind to me. he is one person that helped me massively-a lot during my prep times before i entered university. 

he smiled and asked me "don't you remember me, girl?" 

katrina "oh i am indeed really sorry. i really need to apologise to you, what kind of student i am, simply forgotten my teacher." (i felt like tepuk dahi that time but girl, that wasn't cool when you were talking to your teacher so i acted like it was normal and of.course.katrina.how.can.you.say.it.is.normal.but.it.is.actually.not. haih soooo malu) 

he realised i was seeing guilted and he quickly cut off my sentences and said "oh no worries, i guess (he said something here but again. i've forgotten zzz)
but thing was, he said something funny. 

i gigled so hard and he was too. not to forget, his friend too. and oh i forgot to mention, a friend of mine was there too. so the four of us laughed so bad to his funny but spontaneous joke. 

and while he was talking to my friend, there, i talked to myself alone like an inner whisper to my heart,

WAS IT REALLY BECAUSE OF HIS BEARD THAT YOU HAD FORGOTTEN YOUR TEACHER, KATRINA? OR IS IT BECAUSE OF YOU ARE HAVING A SHORT MEMORY. 
Sigh. 

God bless your soul, you wonderful teacher. 

after that, we had a short chitchat about the football teams. spoke to him that I am not the fan of that Liverpool fc eventhough I'm staying in Liverpool and Arsenal is my cup of tea. fair enough, he insisted on saying Liverpool is the best, because he is one of the loyal supporter. haha. memories, lets just remain as you are. i miss him teaching my peers and me in class. also told him that I'm not as happy as i lived in Brighton, when Im in Liverpool now and he was then sorry to me for that. he gave his warm wishes and words to comfort me before we made our own ways. 

we also managed to have some photographs taken together. it was indeed a lovely meet up (or should i say it an unplanned meet-up, by coincidence, obviously). since then, i told myself not to forget his face, his kindness, his heart and his everything. most importantly, his ability to remember me- his student. 

when he left, i struggled so hard to remember his name. that time, i knew i was such a loser (i am a loser right now too), for I still was not able to recall his name. 

oh and slowly. i managed to remember. 

his name is Carl Harrison :) 

i quickly browsed through his name in my email and found 4 emails were stated and attached with his name and documents. i began to draft my email to him and chose the very best picture of us to share with him, and hoped i wont ever forget him anymore.

one was ultimately enough. 

so here is my email to him and also what he replied to me. 

Dearest Carl,

It was so great and lovely to have met you the other day.
Very thoughtful of you for the warm words and the fact that you remembered me, brighten up my day.
I sincerely apologise for having a short memory of recognising you, but now I can proudly say.
You are never to be forgotten. I'll keep the photo of us :)

Thank you, you wonderful teacher. 

Just thank you.
Wish you happy new year(s).
May you have a great day ahead, also many great & amazing days, months, years ahead too.

So here's our picture together.

(inserts our both-smiling-showing-teeth picture together) 

Regards,
Katrina. 

*******

Dear Katrina,

I have just returned to work today, and to find your lovely email in amongst all the other work-related ones was such a treat.

It really made me smile.  It was such a nice surprise to see you again.

I was sorry to hear that you are not enjoying uni life so far. I really hope that changes.

Take care and feel free to contact me whenever you like.

Carl

p/s: this post is made and dedicated to him in English :)

thank you for your thoughts and knowledge that you have given to me, you greatest teacher. may you always be shaded by His mercy always. i hope life offers you all the good things to fall onto your path and may He grant you "health" and "happiness" forever. 

hello 2015

hari ini, 1 January 2015.

selamat tahun baru! hehe.

semoga tahun baru ini akan lebih bermakna untuk semua.

insyaAllah. 

tapi hari ini telah witnessed saya nangis sebab rindu. tiada sambutan yang hebat macam fireworks atau lagu tahun baru untuk harini tapi air mata saya yang melimpah tahan sebak dan rindu. padahal baru je tadi saya hantar dia di train station. that feeling is just so 'wow' that i am able to miss someone so terribly, not even an hour after he left. jadi konklusinya, what a very tough first day of 2015. 

"miss you"

me: same here.

(i sound wayyy cooler here hahahaha. tapi hakikatnya. safra nangis banyak. dia pulak? tak nangis pun eeee. over betul safra ni nangis) 

so, 

this is how i say Hello to 2015.

selamat datang tahun baru 2015. although the first day wasn't really cool but i am very sure there are many exciting things are coming very (very) soon and later on. insyaAllah. 

oh and then and then, this is what i've got.

"savely home"

me: safely. not savely. zzz. 

"hahaha. saja je"

i miss you so much, you wonderful person. you are always thought of with respect, for i can't think of anyone as wonderful as you. 

sick. home-sick

dulu dulu saya betah bertahan. saya kuat untuk hang on and hold on. 

tapi sekarang. kalau teringat atau rindu sikit, saya cepat je syahdu. cepat je tersentuh. bezanya setiap kali saya didatangi rasa homesick, saya akan nangis saja untuk melepaskan rasa rindu atau saya berlagak hebat, tahan air mata dan biarkan bertakung di kelopak mata tanpa mengharapkan airmata untuk menitis. oh puitisnya awak safra. 

safra yang dulu bukan yang sekarang cewah 

(lagu "Aku yang dulu bukanlah yang sekarang" starts playing in the background)

persoalannya, mungkinkah faktor hormonal telah memberi impak terhadap kebolehan saya untuk mengawal emosi? wah ayat. 

jadi, mari berikan judgement anda. apakah reaksi yang sepatutnya saya pamerkan selepas membaca situasi di bawah. 

"hi papa phone kakak rosak. kalau tak contact papa few days tu jangan risau. kak kena bergantung 24/7 dekat charger. kalau kak cabut, phone terus hitam. kakak sihat dekat manchester ni. duduk rumah maklong :) nanti next week kak pergi betulkan phone. then i'll ring you and mama up. take care, kakak nak tidur ni ❤️"

Ok. take care. night and love you.

ayat papa sebenarnya tersangat singkat. tersangat pendek.

cuma cakap "take care" and "love you" tapi kenapa mesti saya rasa terlalu tersentuh? terlalu syahdu. 

ahh i need you, my man. 

p/s: cukupkah ini menunjukkan bahawa saya sedang menanggung perasaan rindu yang hebat terhadap kedua ibubapa saya? 

اَللَّهُمَّ اغْفِرَلِيْ وَلِوَالِدَىَّ وَٰرْحَمْهُمَا كَمَارَبَّيَانِيْ صَغِيْرًا

"Ya Allah, ampunilah dosaku dan dosa kedua ibubapaku; dan sayangilah mereka sepertimana mereka menyayangiku sewaktu aku masih kecil."

motion sickness

hi dan assalamualaikum

saya baru perasan, esok genap sebulan saya tak jenguk blog. mujur harini saya tiba tiba diterpa rasa nak tengok blog sendiri. kesiannya dekat blog. makin hari makin lupa komitmen saya dekat blog kesayangan. sebenarnya minggu lepas baru mula semester break sempena musim winter. saya dari Liverpool, turun ke Manchester ke rumah auntie and uncle. sebab sunyi duduk liverpool bila kawan kawan lain pun dah ada plan sendiri. ada yang balik Malaysia, ada yang jalan jalan Europe. tapi saya pilih untuk jalan jalan dalam UK je. safra kena simpan duit untuk perkara yang lebih utama cewah. kebetulan pula, maklong dekat manchester ni minta tolong saya untuk berniaga makanan dekat Education Centre Manchester. saja luaskan networking, boleh jumpa banyak malaysians. 

tapi bila dah sibuk uruskan gerai makan. tak sempat pun nak berkenalan. jadi konklusinya, hanya 2% je networking saya berkembang. selebihnya saya banyak bagi tumpuan dekat gerai makanan. menu makanan yang saya jual ada nasi tomato, ayam masak merah, kuih lopes dengan air gula, ayam madu panggang, teh tarik, jelly dadih passion fruit. alhamdulillah makanan semua laku and habis sekejap je bila dah set up table. rasa berbaloi penat lelah (penat ke hehe) masak sampai lewat malam dan bangun awal sebelum subuh untuk berniaga. lagipun bukan selalu safra berpeluang dengan benda macam ni. kalau ada kelas atau seminar, safra busy nak tengok TV pun macam tak cukup masa. jadi eloklah saya gunakan masa cuti dengan activity yang menyeronokkan hehee. selain tu, activity sampingan saya haruslah babysitting sepupu yang kenit kenit. 

lately ni saya rasa semakin malas untuk ambil gambar apa apa. terutama gambar muka sendiri. memang ini syndrome bila nak jadi mak2 atau bini orang ke. EH? hahahaha. gurauan apakah yang awak sedang buat safra hihi. tapi memang saya semakin malas, semakin tak berkuasa nak ambil gambar banyak macam dulu. banyaknya gambar scenery atau gambar abstrak atau gambar konkrit atau gambar yang cik-safra-perasan-dia-ambik-gambar-lawa-gaya-profesional-tapi-takpun hehe. jadi bila macam ni, tak dapat la saya upload satu dua gambar sebagai bukti saya berniaga di EC Manchester. lepastu kononnya safra pujuk hati, kata kata dan pengalaman saya lebih berbaloi untuk dikongsi berbanding gambar. maka dengan itu, tak perlu la kot awak letak gambar dekat blog selalu. ye dok? heehe

begini sebenarnya. situasi pada waktu ini, saya tengah mabuk pening terasa nak muntah nak pitam, nak tidur. tapi saya tengah tahan muntah tahan sakit, tahan segalanya. safra sangat gigih typing post ni walaupun kepala berat dan tekak loya dan kembang, sekembang bunga hibiscus hahaa. waaaa T.T sedihnya rasa sakit macam ni. rasa semua benda saya makan tadi nak keluar. ya Allah, kuatkan hambaMu yang sedang pening kepala ini. jangan la safra muntah. sedih saya nak kena makan balik semula. 

kisahnya mula sebab tadi saya baru lepas makan, perut pun penuh. lepastu maklong ambik safra nak bawak balik rumah. paham saja la. musim winter ni. ketulan ais atau black ice (black ice- the term used to describe the thin coating of ice which usually invisble but very hazardous) banyak bersepah atas jalan. dah berapa kali tayar kereta skidded (meluncur) sebab licin. kereta yang perlahan pun safra rasa laju semacam. saya rasa naik kereta maklong, macam naik roller coaster. segala isi dalam perut rasa nak terburai keluar. oh tidak, safra dah mula loya dan mual. bila bila saja boleh muntah T_T untuk hilangkan rasa mual, saya tidur je dalam kereta. taknak langsung bercakap dengan sesiapa. sampai je rumah saya terus solat dan bersandar dekat dinding tahan sakit kepala dan loya. hahahaha. sila ketawa dekat safra ye semua. 

safra memang dari kecik, tak tahan jalan belok belok atau jalan yang berliku atau kereta yang terlalu laju and break tiap masa. tak boleh terima betul kalau kereta tengah laju macam kuda tengah pecut race dengan kuda kuda lain sebab nak kejar seekor kuda betina lepastu kuda tu break mendadak sebab nampak harimau bintang colour purple hahahahaha. taktau la kuda tu terkejut sebab nampak harimau bintang or kuda tu terkejut sebab harimau tu warna purple heehe. safra is sorry because she cannot tahan the motion sickness.

teringat masa kecik dulu darjah berapa entah. papa mama selalu bawak jalan cameron highland, genting highland, fraser hill and blabla (sila teruskan nama nama puncak atau bukit gunung di malaysia). kalau journey dari bawah kaki bukit tu nak ke puncak atas, safra boleh muntah lebih dari 3 kali ye. bila jadi macam ni memang by the time sampai puncak gunung atau bukit, saya punya mood pun dah melayang and terbabas. memang rasa sangat tak bersemangat dah nak have fun jalan jalan makan angin. semua orang pun automatically akan takda mood juga hihi. sebab tengok saya dah lembik macam sotong. now you see, punya teruk saya punya motion sickness. selalunya mama akan pesan awal awal 

"kakak kejaplagi kita nak lalu kawasan bukit. jalan belok2 melingkar. ni ubat tahan muntah and ubat tidur. jangan lupa makan." 

haha. iye kawan kawan sekalian. selama ni safra memang bergantung dengan ubat tidur dan ubat tahan muntah almost tiap masa. sejak dah besar ni je saya kurangkan makan ubat dan ajar diri sendiri untuk heal naturally. lepastu, bukan semua orang tau saya ada motion sickness hehe. kawan kawan rapat pun tak ramai yang tau. atas sebab itu la si safra ni tak boleh sukahati naik bas. paling saya tak boleh terima adalah bas. kedua, keretapi yang asyik berhenti sebab banyak stop. memang habis saya mabuk pening and muntah dalam bas or keretapi. dah tak pikir malu dah. lebih pikir perut lega bila segala isi dah selamat dikeluarkan. 

safra selalu berdoa semoga safra akan berkahwin dengan suami yang cermat dan berhemat ketika bawak kereta. si suami MESTI memandu kereta dengan sopan dan bertatasusila sebab si isteri mabuk jalan. bukan mabuk biasa tapi mabuk teruk haaha okdah cukup berangan. 

sebelum tu, masa awal awal masuk rumah tadi. sambil masuk rumah saya cakap dekat maklong 

"safra mabuk ni maklong. taktau la kenapa cepat sangat mabuk bila naik kereta laju2. kalau jalan belok2 safra mabuk muntah jugak..."

maklong terus susah hati. maklong suruh naik atas tidur bila tengok muka safra yang pucat macam baru kena marah hehe. baiklah maklong, saya yang menurut perintah. 

yang sedang tahan sakit mabuk pening,

p/s: saya nak buah oren atau asam boi sekarang T.T 

hi assalamualaikum

kisahnya harini saya ada lecture pagi je. sebelah petang saya free. habis kelas terus ke town. sebabnya? 

nak beli berus gigi hahahaha.
haritu pergi Belfast tertinggal toothbrush dekat sana. lepastu berus gigi satulagi tertinggal dekat rumah saya. then esok pula saya nak ke Norway. 

bercakap pasal Norway, Alhamdulillah Allah beri saya rezeki hehe. sila rujuk pos sebelum ini untuk kepastian cewah.

sebelum ni, safra tengah pening pening pikir nak ke mana untuk winter tahun 2014. dengan izin Allah, saya berpeluang untuk tolak-tambah-darab-bahagi duit simpanan supaya mencukupi keinginan dan semangat saya nak travel. 

maka dengan itu, safra rasa mampu untuk pergi Norway. yayy dapat jalan haha. tapi bukan Norway saja. saya pun dapat berjalan ke Scotland. Alhamdulillah ya Allah. haritu saya cuma list out, nak pilih satu tempat untuk bercuti. options are Scotland, Finland, Denmark and Norway. 

bila dah dapat permission dan green light dari orang orang yang berkenaan, saya pun laju je beli ticket flight haha. semua murah. memang tengah sale sempena cuti winter ni. 

minggu lepas pun baru je balik dari Northern Ireland. motif ke sana sebab kak dila yang ajak pergi haha. amboi yeke tu safraa. kak Dila ajak ke atau sebab ada agenda lain ni. tapi memang ke sana, saya jumpa kakak kakak medic. sambil tu singgah rumah kak Anna, sebab rindu nak spend masa dengan baby Jannah. 

flight ke Oslo 8pm esok dari Manchester. doakan perjalanan safra ke Norway selamat pergi dan balik. insyaAllah. 

Norway, i'll see you in a bit.